"DEALING WITH PEOPLE" SERIES- Part 2

Assalamualaikum! Ramadan Kareem to All the Muslims around the world! So Sorry for wishing late. 

How is Ramadan going on with you all? I hope its going great and I pray that Allah's blessings and mercy be on us this Ramadan and the months after it! Ameen.

Today the topic is Dealing with people. Last time I mentioned about "Dealing with people with patience and smiling." If you haven't read that please check it out.  

ACCORDING TO PEOPLE

Allah created all the human beings differently. No one is the same and you can't expect everyone to be the same. We all want to be friends with those who we have something in common with. That is very usual. But What about those people with whom we have nothing in common with or maybe somethings are common but majority is clashing with differences? How Do we deal with such people? 

We all know we have to be kind and polite with everyone. But the question is, are we? If we are not kind or polite with them, What is the reason behind it? Why do we behave the way we behave? InshaAllah we'll try to discuss it with some hadiths and Quranic verses.

The Main people we are not good to is our parents. Basically, because there is a generation gap and our thinking don't match with each other. We need to understand the fact that they are our parents. They have gone according to us their entire lives. Whatever we wanted they have given us not thinking about themselves much. They have sacrificed so much for us we can't even repay! We seriously need to understand that if we want to be good to them. Remember all the favors they have done for us so we always look at them with respect and obey them.

One of the things I learned is that once a person hits the age 50 or above, you can't change ANYONE! Not even your parents. And why should we? All of a sudden we have become righteous and now we want everyone to become perfect all of a sudden? Things don't work this way. We know how much patience improves life and all our matters. 

To deal with our parents, we need to go according to them. Not everything, but the things you know your parents might get angry or upset about. At least try to go according to their wish and their happiness even if it pierces you in the heart! Every child has to put some effort to make their parents be proud of them. Those kids are the one who always compromise their needs over their parents'. If you know your dad would be angry by serving him a cold tea, why do you take the risk? Make sure its hot. If you know your mom gets pissed by your dirty room, then don't! Why take the risk? 

Also do something from time to time to make them happy by doing something they like. Something charitable. Every good thing with a good intention is accepted by Allah. This is mainly for the daughters, because we have very limited time to fully obey them and make them happy. (By limited I don't mean you are gonna die but you'll be married soon and have your own family to look after)

There are some parents who constantly criticize their children. It could be on how you have always failed them, on how you dress or look, what you do ETC. All you got to do at that situation is to zip your mouth, don't back answer and just say what you think is right in a polite manner. I am not an expert in giving dialogues, you can figure that out. I know how much worse the situation would get if you back answered. Do not even roll eyes, act fearless, or stand unaffected by anything. This is misbehavior!!!

Abdullah RadiAllah anhu narrated: Allah's Messenger Sallalahu Alai hi wasallam said, "A momin is not the one who taunts, curses, speaks indecently or abuses others." [Ibn Jabaan, Kitaab Al Imaan: 192]

Some of us are very talented and have a great convincing power. That is a really blessed gift from Allah. One who has it must wisely use it! :)

Allah the Exalted says in Surah Al Zumur-Ayaat 10: "Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning". 

Imagine, the reward will be given completely without even any questioning! What a great privilege that is!  SubhanaAllah!

These things are definitely very hard to do because some of us were not brought up like that. It is hard for me too to be good to everyone sometimes. Allah The Exalted says in Surah Al Baqarah: 83 "And Speak good to people".

We have friends who don't like certain things which we like and there is an individual opinion in it. Appreciate them for who they are and what they like. Same thing goes for siblings. You can't bombard all the things you like on them and force them to like it. Do not expect others to do things according to your mood or your life. You do it according to others. Don't worry about others constantly. Forget about what people are doing wrong. Think of what you are doing wrong. You can always advice politely. Its just human nature when some people have different opinions and views than you, they start contradicting with you. But Islam doesn't teach that. All Muslims have to accept the differences of their friends, relatives and siblings, get over it and treat them with justice because Allah made every soul differently.Not everyone is naturally similar to us. Just accept the facts and move on. 

Sometimes, making a big deal out of small things makes a big fuss. That is why majority of the divorces are on small silly issues like "she is not pretty", "He didn't buy me my favorite pair of shoes", "he watches t.v all the time and doesn't give me attention" ETC! Some couples are together even after all the biggest hardships ever faced. The best examples are our grandparents and our parents who are still together after all these years. mashaAllah! These are the real people who are patient and trust in Allah subhanAllah wa Ta'Allah to make their future better. 

Never argue unnecessarily (only if its important and you are 100% intellect about your argument) and be harsh to others. Aisha RadiAllah anha narrated: The Prophet Muhammad Sallalahu Alai hi wasallam said, "The most hated person near Allah is the most quarrelsome." [Bukhari, Kitaab Al Muzaalim: 2457]

Abdullah RadiAllah anhu narrated: The Prophet Muhammad Sallalahu alai hi wasallam said, "Abusing a Muslim is sinful and killing him is disbelief."[Bukhari, Kitaab Al Imaan:48]

One of the things I have learned most is what you say can never be taken back and it will be either a regret  or a joy for you. Most of the Arguments I've had were verbal and they were worse than physical. They are the most hurtful and irreversible. 

Sahl bin Saad RadiAllah anhu narrated: Allah's Messenger Sallalahu Alai hi wasallam said, "Whoever can guarantee what is between his two jaws (the tongue) and what is between his two legs (private parts), I guarantee Paradise for him". [Bukhari, Kitaab Al Riqaaq: 6474]

Let us try to become a better person and a better Muslim. Forgive, be kind, compromise, appreciate and smile. Intend to do it for the sake of Allah. If you do it sincerely keeping in mind that you are doing for Allah, most of our bad habits and manners will reduce inshaAllah! :)

JazakumuAllah hu khairan for reading. I hope this helps us all. 

Take care. 

Leave comments about a situation from your life where you think would benefit us. Please share this Article and rate. 

Thank you for reading. Please feel free to send me the link of your blogs and comment below if you have similar views. 
- Invisible Identity

ARAB WEDDINGS

The only reason I'm writing this is because I attended two Arab weddings this month. And believe me, I am NOT pleased!

And I will try my best not to ever go there again. It's not like I hate it or anything but I don't approve of it either. Whatever I'm speaking about is not against Arab tradition or culture.

I attended an Arab wedding in Makkah yesterday, so I had to travel from Jeddah to Makkah while getting lost in the way. Basically, spending 2- 2.5 hours in the car with lots of troubles just to attend a wedding that was NOT worth it! 

The only problem I felt was the horrendously loud music and lateeeeeeeeeeeee DINNER. why? Because of LAAAATTEEEE entrance of the Bride!! AAHHH!!

First, let me talk about the music. I understand when people put up Hindi songs or even English songs besides the fact that they know its Haraam in Islam (I am trying to cut off music from my life as well) but Arabic songs are extremely noisy and creates trauma in many people and its FRUSTRATING!! The last wedding I remember was when they hired Singers to sing at their wedding. It was a complete nuisance and very uncomfortable for many people. It was so loud, I could even see some people  blocking their hearing passage just like me. Most of the people were irritated by the music and frustrated by waiting for the bride to come and the food to be served.  Do you know there are old women and men who need to eat food at proper time to take their medicines? I am not old but I had to take my medicines too. Who eats at 3 in the morning any way? At least I ate when it was sehri in Ramadan. 

Now about the LATE BRIDE....

Let me ask you something and I need some serious answers. What was the bride doing till 3 a.m.in the morning? Where was she? Was she cooking the dinner for the guests? Or was she dipping herself in makeup from 6 p.m till 3 a.m. I mean, I need a seriously, excusable, genuine reason that could convince me as an annoyed guest! For some reason I don't want to blame the  bride, cos the brides I met were annoyed as hell too! They couldn't even smile at me properly. Their faces were tired, they looked famished and drained. It looked like as if they wanted to run away from there as soon as they could. Who attends their own wedding late, frustrated and unhappy? What could the reason be? I understand the fact that people spend so much money, time and efforts in their weddings but what is the use when you show up at 3 a.m. at your own wedding and leave after 2 hours?? Do you how much a wedding hall in Jeddah costs for a day? And people spend their wedding in that hall only for a couple of hours. That's unacceptable.

I would never want my wedding to be like that. I want my wedding to be happy despite all the Extravagance, luxury and show off. I would want my guests to mingle up with me, have fun with me and leave happy by filling their tummies. (did that rhyme?)  In short, I want it to be a sunnah Wedding. inshaAllah! :D

What I feel is, as Muslims, we need to make sure all our guests return home happy and contended. I am never gonna keep my wedding after 12. It'll be over much before that. inshaAllah!!  I request all of you who are reading this, to think about this and start preparing from now itself of how your wedding should be like and NOT how you want it to be.

Also note the fact that weddings like this have inspired Indian and other weddings too. So don't let it take over you thinking that it's something cool and fun when its not! Maybe its just me or maybe its not. But this is just a waste of time and that's the fact!

I remind myself before I remind others.

Please comment the answers of these questions below:

1) Are all Arab weddings like this?

2) How would you want your wedding to be like?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4A5ubAXSbyU

Click the link for information about how weddings should actually be held Islamically. An eye-opener by Abu Mussab Wajdi Akkari.

Thank you for reading. Please feel free to send me the link of your blogs and comment below if you have similar views. - Invisible Identity

"DEALING WITH PEOPLE" SERIES- Part 1

PATIENCE AND SMILING

Allah The Exalted says "and speak good to the people" [Surah Baqarah verse:83]

Patience is necessary when it comes to dealing with people.

Some people may hurt you, betray you and not understand you when you explain them. But you have to deal with them with patience. 

Its just human nature when some people have different opinion and views than you, they start contradicting with you. But Islam doesn't teach that. All Muslims have to accept the differences of our friends, relatives and siblings, get over it and treat them with justice because Allah made every soul  differently. Just because your friend is talkative and you are quiet doesn't mean you need a new friend to meet your special "quiet" needs. That's just ridiculous. 

Nowadays, people are extremely choosy when it comes to friendship, marriage, some behaviors etc. when its comes to maintaining relationships. It not like picking up clothes, food or shoes of your choice. Its people we're talking about. We need to look and observe the hearts rather than looking at few picky annoying habits. If that would have been the case, we would have been loner by now. 

We, as Muslims need to treat our enemies with kindness so imagine how are we treating our parents, siblings and relatives?? Probably worse than enemies.

Jarir R.A narrated that the Prophet Muhammad (Peace and blessing be upon him) said,"He who is deprived of gentleness is deprived of goodness" [Sahih Muslim 6598]

Be good to those who are good to you and be good to those who aren't good to you. This is the Muslim positivity. That's because we aren't pleasing anyone, we are intending to please Allah!

So smile, as it is a sunnah! How many people can you smile at when you wake up today? Probably your whole house first. Just because you smiled, they will return you a smile and a circle of smile begins. Forgive constantly and forget it like it never happened. You will have a great feeling of positivity in your life and life wouldn't seem as horrible as it sounds like. 

"Spread the sunnah by your actions if people can't understand your speech" 

-Manal

Thank you for reading. and spread the knowledge. Please feel free to send me the link of your blogs and comment below if you have similar views. - Invisible Identity

ASSALAMUALAIKUM!

OMG!

has it been a year since I was here last?

I cannot blv that!

Well, its about time that I did something interesting..

but its so much fun when u hear about someone after a long time and u have got so much to catch up with. So many things changed last year and this year.2011 was the worst year for me. So much struggles and problems. I kinda did what my blog inspires. Endured myself with Patience. And here I am!! I study in a well renowned Madrasa of Jeddah DarusSulaim. Its all Islamic studies. I am doing a Tafheem e deen course. I am gonna talk about that later. Together with, I am doing my Bachelors of Alternative Medicines. My first year is gonna end the next month. I am busy with work. I tutor primary student kids. So yea! thats what all has been going on with me. who cares, anyways! Thats a little update about me..

See ya all later with more informatve talks next time!

Stay tuned

(I sound like a news reporter because that's how I am talking in my mind right now)

Thank you for reading. Please feel free to send me the link of your blogs and comment below if you have similar views. - Invisible Identity

STAY HEALTHY IN RAMADAN WITH PATIENCE

Assalamualaikum! 

How are you?  Ramadan is only a week and a half away now. So have we all decided what our routine is gonna be or what we are going to do with our time?

Well I know that you must have decided how much ibaadat and Zikr you'll all be doing and what things you'll be stopping. InshAllah, we'll all make this Ramadan the most memorable ones of our lives and learn from our past ramadan mistakes and improve it this year. We will read Quran (with the intention to finish it), pray in the nights and do no evil talking, hearing or seeing. InshAllah!

BUT in this article, I'm going to speak MOSTLY about what kinds of foods you will have to avoid. Basically, it's about HEALTH in Ramadan and also how we could abstain eating what our taste buds offers us to eat for example the delicious, tasty- FATTY- OILY-UNHEALTHY and weight gaining foods. 

Why is it that we were so healthy and didn't have an upset stomach before Ramadan? And as soon as Ramadan starts, after the first Iftari, we swallow the food without chewing NON-Stop and gain weight all of a sudden? It's like an involuntary action happening with us that we don't realize. We only realize when we lift our shirts and check our tummy in the mirror and Say ,"O Crap, Here we go again" Raise your hands for those who relate to this. Well I do. Shaitaan has been preparing us the rest of the 11 months so that we screw our Ramadan. And will we let him? NO, we won't. 

I am a student of  Alternative Medicines and I have been learning about health and I decided to share something that I have learned. My field is about something which is not only beneficial for me now, but it could be beneficial for all of us throughout our lives!

In my studies I have learned that, the best way one could get rid of diseases is through FASTING! Yes, you read that right, FASTING! It is the Master of remedies. The practice of fasting is one of the five most important pillars of Islam. We devout our complete selves to Allah and do not do the regular things that we do like eating, drinking, watching t.v, or anything that is a bad or evil deed. 

The problem of every disease in our body is mostly because of "food". There is Shaitaan in food also. Every disease can be healed by only one remedy-- by doing the opposite of what causes it, by reducing the food intake or "fasting".

Some of you should know that there are several benefits of fasting. It burns and digests the tissues by the process of breaking down of fat stores in the body in order to produce energy (autolysis). The body decomposes and burns those cells and tissues which are damaged or dead. BUT the essential tissues of the vital organs, vital glands or nervous system are not digested or damaged. The building up of new and healthy cells are speeded up by the amino acids released from those diseased cells  and the capacity of lungs, livers, kidneys and skin is increased because they are relieved from the burden of digesting food and eliminating the waste substances. And therefore helps in curing gastric and other diseases. SubhanAllah!

Now how do you usually break your fast. Of course you start with the duwa or break it with a date or water. And after that?????? Khopt! Khopt! Khopt! You know what that sound is. If you really want all those benefits above to be successful, breaking the fast is the most important factor to be kept in your mind.

Food that shouldn't be on your Iftari table are:

1. Oily samosas

2. Aalo ke pakorde/ Bhajiya or any other pakorda/ Bhajiya

3. Puff Pastries (even though they are baked doesn't hide the fact with what they are stuffed with)

4. Anything that was taken out from your deep frying pan with oil or ghee. Shallow pans are still yet acceptable.

5. Any sweet dish which has lots of sugar or starchy refined items.

6. Cold water/liquid

7. ANY BEVERAGE/ tea, coffee, ghahwa. (after dinner maybe)

Food that are allowed on your Iftari table are:

1. Fruit Salad. Mind you, no sugar in that! Fruits are sweet by nature, subhanAllah.

2. Dahi bade (for those who squeeze out the oil from the wada and dip them into water for few seconds and then put them in the yoghurt) 

3. Fresh lemon juice/ Grapes, Apples.

4. Dates

5. Milkshake of any fruit with crushed almonds maybe. 

6. Luke warm water/ Zamzam.

The most important factor is how you break your fast. Start with a date or two. Then you might drink a glass of water. Wait for five minutes. Then start up with your fruits first. Don't eat the delicious looking foods first. The fruits would solidify your food and won't digest it properly. 

After you are done with eating that "slowly", drink a glass of fresh juice. (Chewing slowly is important as most of us gulp it out of excitement or impatience.)  Then you can eat your Dahi bada, your shallow fried cutlet, more dates. It also depends on how much food you want to eat but remember to chew it slowly and do not over eat so that your food comes out when you are in Prostration. After that, get up for your Maghrib Salah. You might be a little hungry even after your prayers. You could drink a glass of milkshake to suppress your hunger. 

You can eat a well balanced dinner after tarawi prayers but do not fill your stomach because you have to eat again in Suhoor. Suhoor is a sunnah. Anas reported that the Messenger of Allah said: "Eat Suhoor, for there are blessings in it." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]  So try to have your Suhoor may it be a date or two. A date is comprised of 23 calories. Even eating a couple of dates would be enough for your Suhoor. (for the ones who are in a hurry or over weight). You could have your normal cereal, whole grain food, eggs, bananas, lots of water half an hour before food in Suhoor. Eating Suhoor would be fulfilled by eating a small or large quantity of food, or even just by drinking a sip of water as mentioned in the Hadith of Abu Said al-Khudri. However, the best of Suhoor is eating dates since the Prophet (Sallal lahu Alai hi wasallam) said: "How excellent are dates as the believer's Suhoor". [Abu Dawood, Ibn Hibban and Al-Baihaqee; Sahih]. Too much tea at Suhoor makes you pass more urine taking with it valuable mineral salts that your body would need during the day. No smoking. If you cannot give up smoking, cut down gradually starting a few weeks before Ramadan. Smoking is unhealthy and one should stop completely.

During the fast, try to take little sun bath. Cold baths are not advisable.  Fasting sometimes produces a state of sleepiness which can be overcome by working or walking for a short distance (your hall would be okay). Fasting also produces a state of sleeplessness for few of us which can be overcome by a warm tub bath & hot water bottles at feet.

How hard could it be? Just be patience with your tongue. Even our tongues are extremely impatient when it comes to words and food. 

Remember my article is not about dieting in Ramadan. DO NOT make the mistake of fasting with the intention to diet. That is one of the biggest mistakes some of us make (especially sisters). Fasting is an act of worship and can only be done for the sake of Allah alone. Mixing it with the intention of dieting is a form of Shirk. My article only encourages to eat healthy food during Ramadan and to stay fit like you were before Ramadan, as most of us acquires gastric problems or gain weight unnecessarily due to overeating in Ramadan. Also fasting is a great remedy to cure many diseases. 

 

I hope this will help all of us once we adapt these guidelines in our healthy and disease free Ramadan!

Remember, Ramadan is all about submitting yourself to Allah by fasting, praying. Dhikr and invoking Allah and it's not all about the food or late night shoppings.

JazakumuAllah!!

Feee imaniAllah :D

Few Hadiths on eating habits in Ramadan

The Prophet (SalAllahu Alayahi Wasalaam) said: 'The son of Adam does not fill any vessel worse than his stomach; for the son of Adam a few mouthfuls are sufficient to keep his back straight. If you must fill it, then one-third for food, one-third for drink and one-third for air.' (Tirmidhi, Ibn Maajah. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani). 

The Prophet (SalAllahu Alayahi Wasalaam) said: 'Whoever does not give up false speech and acting upon it, and ignorance, Allaah has no need of him giving up his food and drink.' (Bukhaari)

Thank you for reading. Please feel free to send me the link of your blogs and comment below if you have similar views. - Invisible Identity