COMMON AKHLAQI PROBLEMS

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaatuhu!

In today's world and society, we have become selfish, self-centered and quite egocentric due to the lack of attention and importance given to us. But this doesn't give us the right to behave recklessly or poorly with others. The fact that good and excellent manners will admit us into Paradise should not be fiddling in our lives. 

As Abu Umamah al-Bahili reports: that our beloved Prophet Muhammad Sallahu alaihi wasalam said: "I guarantee a house in the lower portion of Jannah for whoever gives up arguing even if he is right, and a house in the middle of Jannah for whoever gives up lying even if he is joking, and a house for in the highest level of Jannah for whoever perfects their akhlaq." [Abu Dawood]

So here we go,

COMMON AKHLAQI MISTAKES THAT WE ALL ARE GUILTY OF:

• speaking words of wisdom with anger and ill tone
• ordering that which you don't do it yourself
• judging others while not correcting or reforming your own self
• interrupting others whilst they are speaking
• not listening to what others have to say but always speaking your mind
• unnecessary questioning constantly
• speaking loudly to make other's voice subside and to make your point clear
• speaking singly for the entire audience without consulting them or thinking about them
• always talking into things with your perspective and not with the latter's
• always complaining, whining and crying over little things and making everybody negative
• exchanging glances at each other in order to make fun of somebody
• being sarcastic every single time
• commenting rude remarks directly at a person without caring about his/her feelings like you're fat, go get yourself a makeover etc.
• always praising or boasting your qualifications or authority in order to feel great among-st those who aren't as accomplished as you are
• leaving your mess for others to clean especially the bathrooms (why you no clean your bathrooms? :(( )
• using public property rashly and horribly without caring about others benefit
• not disposing your insanitary belongings and simply making others puke :&
• not taking care about the environment, like smoking cigarettes, throwing trash on the roads, grass and simply corrupting the land of Allah. Such a behavior shows that one doesn't care about their future generations
• not offering someone to share your food when others around you aren't eating
• not accepting food that somebody offers to you even if you DON'T like it
• forcing somebody to eat like a madman till there is no space left in their stomachs and their throats might explode
• chewing loudly and making horrendous noises while eating or drinking
• not maintaining self hygiene and troubling others with your odour
• looking like zombies at your homes and looking great outside of your homes (Yes! Your families have a right to see you properly dressed and groomed whereas strangers don't!)
• speaking loudly, or banging things whilst somebody might be sleeping, studying or even praying Salat
• not giving salams to any muslim stranger that passes by you let alone replying to their salams. Be the first one to give Salams. 
• Also, giving Salam just to one person  and not giving Salams to others sitting next to that person!
• nitpicking somebody's food directly without caring about their feelings
• nitpicking a present that somebody gave you
• criticizing somebody in front of everybody caring less that they are being humiliated
• bullying someone without even caring what they feel. Just being big-chested
• not smiling in return when somebody smiles at you (NOT APPLICABLE FOR OPPOSITE GENDERS :P)
• not making eye contact when speaking to somebody
• arriving late at somebody's house or institute when a fixed time was given to you. (except that you had a genuine excuse)
• arriving at somebody's house without informing them because "Oh! They are my family and friends, they must of course never mind" Don't do that please.
• waiting for the food to be served and then leave immediately (in simple words, coming to somebody's house just to eat)
• Not offering even a glass of water to someone who comes at your place
• leaving your guest's house so late that you regard it as your right. Please come and leave at a time that was given to you
• not remaining seated where you were asked to and simply moving around, peeping into people's stuff without their permission like opening drawers, checking out their books in the shelves and so on
• making a mess at your guests place
• leaving your kids to roam with full liberty and create mess at the guests' as they like. This is not a free ticket for a mother to have herself a break from her child!
• peeping into somebody's personal letters and conversations not remembering Allah is watching
• eavesdropping somebody's personal conversations through another phone line or by sticking your ear to the door.
• Speaking secretly in pairs when a third person is left out
• Walking with your chest out and neck high and not looking at people when they converse with you
• using other's belongings without their permission may it even be a pen or an eraser. It still counts!
• not returning people's belongings (amaanat) that you borrowed at a fixed time. It could even be some money that you lent from them
• always being busy for others who want to meet up with you. Not everyone is free, you see.
• walking recklessly and not to forget, pushing people from the way while running for your life
• suddenly stop walking in the middle of the way then create accidents behind you 
• not offering to help somebody when they are crying about their problems to you or they expect help from you
• always making promises but not fulfilling it
• sitting with a straight and arrogant posture in front of your elderly and not offering to help them in need like to give them your seat or to get them some water, etc.
• stamping your feet and slamming doors at your parents
• back answering and saying hurtful words in order to feel great about yourself especially with parents
• not turning your phone on silent in the masjid or in an educational institute
• some of the gross ones are to fart, burp, pick nose in front of everybody! :O
• and the worst of all, double parking in the middle of the road or behind somebody's cars and NOT caring about the commotion created on the road because of them! 

Remember, if a person cares about his neighbor, family or people more than himself, this is graded as utmost good (ehsaan). And this is what Allah loves. He loves Al-Muhsinoon. Care about others and you will get the same in return. Do not be a source of hatred in somebody's heart. Make others happy and you will make Allah happy which will make you happy and then everybody else will be happy :D :D :D :D :D in sha Allah!

This is a reminder for me first and then to others. Please mention some of the common akhlaqi problems that you face in your life which I didn't mention and let's make it stop altogether!

Jazakumullahu Khairan for reading! 

Ask me anything regarding this topic here Thank you for reading. Please feel free to send me the link of your blogs and comment below if you have similar views. - Manal Mirza

GET UP AND GET GOING! FREE WEBINAR FOR ANYONE, ANYWHERE

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaatuhu!

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Timings: 8:00 PM to 9:30 PM
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TheProductiveMuslimahVisionaries, Presenters Bureau Head, Manal Mirza

JazakumuAllahu khairan for reading!

Ask me anything regarding this topic here
Thank you for reading. 

Please feel free to send me the link of your blogs and comment below if you have similar views.

- Manal Mirza

A VERSE THAT TOUCHED MY HEART- A SIGN OF LOVE

Assalamulaiakum WarahmatuAllahi Wabarakatuh!

This is one of the ayaat that filled my eyes with tears. This makes me recognise Allah even more. subhanaAllah! Surah Ar Rum is considered as the Surah of Signs. Where Allah shows us His signs (His created signs) and asks to us reflect, understand, listen and know. 
One of the signs of Allah is this beautiful ayat in Surah Ar-Rum:

Translation: "And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought."
Allah made our spouses from our own nafs, and from our own kind, and made us into spouses, so that we seek comfort within each other. This is human nature. Any kind of weakness that we have like fear, love, affection, Allah gave us our spouses so that we obtain repose in them. Isn't this a mercy from Allah?  

 Allah said that he planted love in the hearts of spouses. Here he said مودة not محبه. because مودة has selfless love and it is exaggerated where you learn to sacrifice for your loved one and care for each other, whereas  محبه is selfish love in which you love that person only for your sake, to please yourself.  مودة is when you not only take but also give. Allah instills this love in the hearts of the spouses as a type of need. Everybody has that special kind of love for their spouses which is innate, created and instilled by Allah. 
We, human beings are weak. We have affections, feelings, mental and physical needs that we seek in from our spouses. The real purpose of marriage is to seek peace within one another, understand each other, be there for eachother in times of need. Love one another and have mercy towards each other. 
If a person doesn't find these three things (Comfort, love and mercy) in their marriage, then that marriage is lacking completeness, and it might not be considered as a happy or successful marriage. 
It is obvious that no two genders in a marriage are going to be similar or not have differences. Of course they're going to have differences amongnst eachother. What's required is to understand those differences and still love and respect eachother and love one another selflessly and unconditionally for the sake of Allah. Afterall, we do crave for attention and love from our partners. It's like a necessity within us that's just like eating and drinking. How would our lives be if there was no one to share this love with just like if there was no food to eat?
This comfort, love and mercy is not only related to spouses but also related to friends, parents and siblings. This bond can only be increased  and strengthened if these three qualities are found within us and if we are ready to give it to them. You won't find this in animals because they don't express these qualities to their own kind. They just have that physical desire that they crave. They just don't have that emotional need like us, or even if they do, they possess that selfish love and not the selfless love. If a marriage only worked on the basis of physical needs and lust, what kind of relationship is this other than the the relationship of an animal? 
Love is a feeling that makes us better people and makes us sacrifice for one another. We need to value, care, understand, respect and be merciful to our spouses and loved ones. Spread the greeting of peace (سلام) more often and reply to their greeting as well. Smile at eachother. If Allah commanded us to smile and say peace to strangers then isn't it obvious that we need to increase our greetings of salam and smiles even more amongst our loved ones? Smiling and spreading Salam only makes us a muslim and not a weirdo. Salam will be so common that the believers and angels will spread the greeting of Salaam profusely. So, to be one of the inhabitants of Jannah, we need to spread peace abundantly.

But what has marriage and relationships become these days other than hatred, lust, anger, grudges against one another? Always pointing at each other's mistakes and always expecting something in return. These kinds of marriages usually end up in divorce or result in a cold war forever. 

Du'aa:

Aren't you glad that you love someone? Isn't this love and mercy in our hearts, a sign from Allah? This love and creation of spouses from our own nafs is in itself a sign from Allah. We wouldn't have found our better half if it wasn't for Allah. We wouldn't have felt peace and expressed our love that flows inside us if we didn't have our better half. How lonely and incomplete our lives would be if we had no partner? How would our lives be if there was no love and affection? What better relationship is there other than the relationship of a husband and wife? Who put that love in your heart? Not only spouses, but who put that love, mercy and peace within our families, siblings, relatives and friends? Allah subhanahu wa taála! So wouldn't you then ponder? Wouldn't you then be grateful?

Cutest picture!

I am not married yet but the idea of love and affection is what intrigues me to get married soon. In sha Allah!
And remember whoever you are in love with, may it be your husband or family, it should only be for the sake of ALLAH! If we don't love someone for the sake of Allah then it would be a great fitna for us. It will be just like how Bani Israel loved the calf that they desired to worship other than Allah. If you love someone other than His sake, it will only turn us away from Allah and His remembrance. If that person whom you love is constantly distracting you in your Salat, forces you to disobey Allah (makes you do haram), removes you from the worship of Allah and His remembrance, then this is called worshiping a person. This love has gone way overboard and is not at all acceptable in Islam. Islam is moderate and loves moderation. We should not love anyone more than Allah or our Rasool صلى الله عليه وسلم. True love is only when your love for someone brings you closer to Allah and when you care for the wellbeing of that person's dunya and aakhirah. 
This is a great sign from Allah! But little do we ponder upon the greatest blessings we possess; love, mercy and loved ones. 

JazakumuAllahu khairaa for reading. Don't forget to rate, share and comment below if you have similar views. 

Ask me anything regarding this topic here. Thank you for reading. Please feel free to send me the link of your blogs and comment below if you have similar views. 
- Manal Mirza

A SYMPATHY TO THOSE WHO COMPLAIN OF INSUFFICIENT RIZQ

Assalamualaikum WarahmatuAllahi Wabarakaatuhu!!

Everybody has problems and distresses in their lives. And many of the problems in our lives comprise of financial, health and mental distress. At the times of difficulties we usually complain that why isn't Allah helping me, why isn't He answering my prayers quickly, Why can't He just help me already, What did I do to deserve this. These are the types of statements we usually make not realizing the severity of this complaint.
What comes under Rizq? money, health, food, rain, water, resources, clothes, knowledge, talents, parents, children, spouses, every khair etc. 

Allah subhanAllah said in Surah Al Ankaboot: Verse 58 "And those who believe (in the Oneness of Allah Islamic Monotheism) and do righteous good deeds, to them We shall surely give lofty dwellings in Paradise, underneath which rivers flow, to live therein forever. Excellent is the reward of the workers." 
The above ayats show us, we actually need to increase our Iman and do good deeds in normal days and even in sad days, then Allah will give us lofty rooms in the Jannah in which they will live eternally. But our problem is that we are living for the world. We are always making duwas for our world. Why don't we focus more on the aakhirah? If we do, then that way Allah subhanAllah will also give us more in the dunya and increase our khair in aakhirah as well. in sha Allah

Also Allah wants us to be patient and put all our trust in Him Alone! Al Ankaboot-59. Those who are patient, and put their trust (only) in their Lord (Allah). Ask yourself, are you patient when you are in distress? Do you become angry, ungrateful or act like a victim when you are afflicted with calamity? The awwal (first) and aakhir (last) amal of distress is what is called Patience. If we scream in the beginning and then become patient, this is not called patient. Some people bear everything with patience in the beginning but burst out when the temperature has reached the boiling point. Real patience comes from being grateful. Say “Alhamdulillah álaa kulli haal–Praise is due to Allah in every condition.” (Narrated by At-Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud and Ibn Majah) and accept the qadr of Allah even if you do not like some thing that happened to you then say, Qadarallahu wa ma sha faál. 
Remember every distress in our life whether it is from people, financial, health, mental, brokenhearts, loss of lives or poverty is nothing but a test from Allah. Allah says at the beginning of this surah Al Ankaboot- Verse 2. Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: "We believe," and will not be tested.

Remember Every single believer will be tested with their most precious things ever, but Allah wants to see whom do we love the most, Allah or people, family or sunnah? dunya or aakhirat? haram or halal? Not that Allah doesn't know what we love the most, He just wants us to know on the Day of Judgment of what we did and that He doesn't punishes us with injustice. 
Remember, it is Allah who provides for you. People and your jobs are only an asbaab (means) which are also provided by Allah. So thank Him first and then thank others later. Considering a person or thing to be the "only" reason behind your rizq is shirk. Because you have associated others with the sifat of Allah. Never say because of my patient, I got the rizq. Nay! but because of Allah and His mercy you were given that rizq! Do not say because I am leaving this place, it is raining. Nay! Because it is the mercy of Allah. These are such heedless things to utter but little do we ponder or care!


Allah also says us to not worry about our rizq. Why? because "How many creatures are there that do not carry their provision (rizq) with them? Allah provides for them as He provides for you. And He is the All-Hearer, the All-Knower." [Surah Al Ankaboot- 60] 
If Allah can provide food and all khair to the animals and all the living creatures out there in the air, land and water when they don't have the capability to earn for themselves nor do they hold their rizq (they don't hold their future rizq), then how did we even think for a second that Allah will not provide for us or that we will never be blessed with goodness in this world? Put your trust in Allah, be patient! Allah is The One who takes care of us not our fathers or our spouses nor the people around us so stop expecting from them. 

Every single person will die with his estimated and measured rizq that Allah has written for him in his fate. Whatever is written for us will only reach us as Allah wills. Allah says, : "Allah gives abundantly to whom He wills and sparingly to whom He wills, surely Allah has knowledge of all things." [Al Ankaboot- 62]
So from now on, don't make Rizq as an issue. Just expect from Allah and know that He will give you whilst you even try for it. Be patient, put your trust in Allah, do good deeds, be grateful, pray to Allah at all times then you wouldn't find the time to even complain or let alone feel depressed. Don't worry, the help of Allah is soon to come. Just trust in Allah and say HasbunAllahu wa ne'mal wakeel wa ne'mal maula wa ne'man naseer

Ask me anything regarding this topic here. Thank you for reading. Please feel free to send me the link of your blogs and comment below if you have similar views. 
- Manal Mirza

FINDING IT DIFFICULT TO PRACTICE ISLAM IN YOUR COUNTRY? TWO SOLUTIONS

Assalamualaikum WarahmatuAllahi Wabarakatuhu!

Today I would like to share with you two solutions that Allah subhanAllah wa taála has given us if we find it difficult to practice Islam, or follow the ehkamaat ordained by Allah upon us. 

The first Solution is given in Surah Al Ankaboot Verse: 56 (O My Servants who have believed! Surely, My Earth is spacious to migrate if Needed, therefore worship Me and  ME Alone!) This verse was revealed when the Muslims in Makkah were facing a hard time to practice Islam and faced a lot of oppositions from the Kuffar e Makkah so some travelled to Habasha and later even Rasool Sallalaahu alaihi wasallam also had migrated to Madinah because of the severe threats and oppositions he had faced. 

This ayat shows us our first clear solution. Migrate or move from your country to protect your deen. For verily if you even find fitna in the place where you live and find it hard for yourself to practice your religion, then move and migrate for the sake of Allah. Wouldn't we migrate  if we faced oppression in our countries to save our lives if there were terrorist attacks going on or if there was a drought or bad economy? Then why not migrate to save your deen? 

The second Solution is to do Utmost Struggle (Jihad) with your own nafs and soul. If you find it difficult to practice your religion and still can't move or migrate then strive in the cause of Allah and follow His commandments no matter how many oppositions you face. Can we compare our oppositions to the oppositions faced by Rasool Sallalahu alaihi wasallam and his beloved companions in Makkah where many early muslims in Islam were tortured brutally and killed just because they said Allah is One? We don't face half the oppositions they faced yet we have 10 excuses to present. 

We cannot makes excuses when it comes to following the commandments and rules set by Allah whether if it was a muslim country where following Islam is easy or a non-muslim country where praciticing Islam can be difficult. We can't say that we weren't able to wear Hijab, stop giving Riba or pray Salat because the people here call us oppressed and look at us with weird eyes and we would not get a job, no one would be our friend, no one would marry me. 
Sure it is hard for you and Allah Alone knows what you go through, but for that difficulty Allah has also shown you a way out to bring you out of that misery, then why not take His advice? Either migrate of Jihad un Nafs

This can be confirmed with another ayat in Surah An Nisa Verse 97. Verily! As for those whom the angels take (in death) while they are wronging themselves (as they stayed among the disbelievers even though emigration was obligatory for them), they (angels) say (to them): "In what (condition) were you?" They reply: "We were weak and oppressed on earth." They (angels) say: "Was not the earth of Allah spacious enough for you to emigrate therein?" Such men will find their abode in Hell - What an evil destination! 98. Except the weak ones among men, women and children who cannot devise a plan, nor are they able to direct their way. 99. For these there is hope that Allah will forgive them, and Allah is Ever Oft Pardoning, Oft-Forgiving.

Even the birds migrate when they face any difficulties
in survival

Ask yourself really before calling yourself Weak or oppressed. Do you have enough money to eat, travel, spend in your child's education, pay rents, have good friends circle? Were you arrested, threatened, tortured by the kuffar? If the first answer is yes and the second answer is no then you are not weak nor oppressed. 

These are such stern ayats that we take so easily as if we never read or heard them. But, subhanAllah, if you look at the bright side there are some inspirational people out there also who practice Islam and still follow the commandments set by Allah and they do it for the sake of Allah wherever they are and what they do is the real Jihad un Nafs. And they are our real inspirations. 

If we thought for one second that we need to please Allah alone, then how many deeds would we be doing differently? 

Ask me anything regarding this topic here. Thank you for reading. Please feel free to send me the link of your blogs and comment below if you have similar views. 
- Manal Mirza