NEW DISRUPTIVE GENERATION

 "Wealth and children are the adornment of the life of this world. But the good righteous deeds (five compulsory prayers, deeds of Allah's obedience, good and nice talk, remembrance of Allah with glorification, praises and thanks, etc.), that last, are better with your Lord for rewards and better in respect of hope" [18:46]

Muslim Married women (or couples) shouldn't give birth to a child if they can't bring them up through the teachings of Islam. Because it is better to not give birth than to raise a child that is close to becoming a kaafir. Parents are to be blamed because some muslim parents are raising up their children to become great doctors or a multimillionaire dollar scientists and those are the same parents who in the end are placed in old age foster care homes by their occupied busy children. If you raised them to be great muslims and home caretakers then you would see your child treating you in the best way and not as maids or sponsors. The reason why I am writing this is because a friend of my sister told her why she doesn't wanna cover her head is because "TEENS SHOULD LIVE AND ENJOY LIKE TEENS" :S I wish I showed her how teens should be smacked like teens. I know as kids we weren't perfect or even close to it but my only regret is that only if I was lead in the right direction. 

What I meant by not giving birth was to not conceive in the first place or plan to have kids to have a good status in society or as a means of show off and competition of whose kids are better in worldly success and knowledge in society or relatives. Regardless to that, people consider marriage contract as a way of living their lives to the fullest according to their desires when actually it is the hardest and most responsible job ever. It's not a joke to start a family and on top of that to take care of it. Before marrying, every single muslim woman should be trained or given courses on how to raise children according to the sharia of Islam because a mother is the one who nurtures the home and from her is the entire ummah. Obviously, fathers aren't exempted from this responsibility because the children also need the fatherly dose as well and the wife needs his support too. He shouldn't sit by watching his wife struggle with kids and house chores while he is busy watching T.V and ordering her to get him some food and snacks 24/7. This is how children learn. Through you, through parents by imitating.  

Learning how to raise children after marriage is also great but it doesn't suffice your actual benefit and most of the time those lessons are through hard learned lessons from experiences. Majority of the times the parents are the one in the compromising state and the children start controlling them. Do not let them control you. You are the bigger authority. Be a good example. Not good but be a GREAT example.
I am not married or a mother hence I can't say this but I am a daughter and I understand this fact that if someone makes a mistake, we owe it to ourselves to learn from it & not repeat the same mistakes again. I learned a lot from my parent's mistakes and that's how we all become wiser as to-be parents.

Nowadays the best way for a mother to shut their children from crying is by shoving them with iPads, tablets or making them listen to nursery rhymes or watch Disney movies. They are bought everything and anything the kids demand from toys to accessories to gadgets. Every parent should teach their children to ponder over all those poor unfortunate children over the world. With more exposure to television all they see is rich kids who have everything and anything so they are bound to become like them and demand such things. They should be made to go to the oldage foster homes to help the elderly. 
Moreover, there are many kids who now have open and unsupervised internet. These kids easily know how to use these gadgets and slowly slowly they aren't interested in what their moms want them to listen or watch. They are getting exposed to many explicit and unwanted content which is not even for us Muslim Adults to watch let alone kids! All they have are idols like Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber and 1D. It's really scary because gradually these are how mothers these days are raising their kids. *BLINDFOLD*

This obviously doesn't apply to all mothers. There are some amazing mothers out there who know great parenting techniques on how to handle their kids from peer pressure and they do the right upbringing. They raise their children with the teachings of our Rasool, Sahabas and their grandparents. masha'Allah! They are friends to their children and parents too. They have that mutual trust between one another and the children share everything with their parents. 

These parents are not super strict or super lenient. They are balanced. MashaAllah! I have seen such parents. They indulge their children into so many educational activities (worldly and deeni) so that the child doesn't have time to involve in haram activities and or become fat! If parents really want to invest money into something, they should invest it in the best education of deen and dunya, activities and best food for their kids. Do not be scared of poverty and do not withhold your hands from spending in the right way, in the way of Allah. Many parents spend lots and lots of money on worldly education which is not bad but when the child wants to do some religious study, they ask a lot of questions and expect it to be the cheapest studies ever which makes them not want to spend in the way of Allah. 

My only concern is the new disruptive generation. I don't care about the kaafirs much because our own Muslim generations is getting destructed and my first priority is them. As a teacher I try my best to take the opportunity to advice my students to be good people because teachers in schools aren't teaching this also. :S 
Please mothers or to be mothers or wives who are planning to conceive, or to be wives, please do remember this is a big responsibility. I am not scaring you from having a child, but not to forget, with greater achievements comes greater responsibilities. Please teach them akhlaq, cleanliness, politeness, humbleness and gratefulness. These are basics things for a child to know to be a good human and eventually with time, teach them who their creator is, what their religion is & who their last messenger is. Teach them how to pray, read Qu'ran, learn Qurán and eventually they'll become good muslims who will be ready to strive in this Dunya without hurdles in sha Allah (All of this is to be done and done till the age of 13)
Don't underestimate the capabilities of your child because they are capable of sooooo much. The parents just can't see it. 

May Allah make us all good parents and make our children one of those who pray and obeys Allah and Rasool SallahuAlaihi waSallam. Ameen! :D

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- Manal Mirza