FAMILY AND THE LIFE AGAINST THEM

"I don't care how poor a man is, if he has family, he's rich." Dan Wilcox and Thad Mumford,

We all love our families. We love them because we've grown older together. We love our families because we care. We love them because we fought together in disceptations but banished the others who tried hurting them. We love them so much because we are who we are now because of them. We love them because only they admit to accept us as who we are. We love them because we have shared a lot of similar happiness together. We love them because we have seen similar hardships together. We love them even though we have differences. We love them if they don't help us in need. We love them even if they hurt us for our beneficial. We love them even if they hurt us for their beneficial. We love them even if they hated us sometimes. We love them even if we hated them sometimes. We love them even if they don't speak with us. We love them when they drove us insane. We love them because we know that, even at the end of the day, they will be there with us and will fight to be with us; Physically and mentally.

When we started growing, there was no one dearer to us except our parents. We hated anyone who went near them. We hated our own siblings who stole them from us. We secretly pinched them when they were sleeping. This is when we started growing. But when we passed 10 years, no one was more dearer to us than our own siblings. We hated anyone who went near them. We hated their friends who tried to steal them from us. We hurt ourselves unintentionally because of feeling insecure. This is when we were growing. But when we entered into our teen life. No one was more dearer to us than our friends. Our friends became our life. No one dared to hurt them. We fought with our parents for them also with our own siblings for them. We needed no one else except of them. Meanwhile, We had our own little secrets. We got ourselves some real definition treat! Girls got boyfriends, boys got girlfriends. Some of them had 2-3 partners at once. Some changed partners every week. Some were cheating with another partner. Some were just hanging around. Few girls found girlfriends for them, if you know what I mean. 

This was the world's most challenging phase in our lives. We had the whole my-life-is-falling-into-pieces-nobody-loves-me-I-wanna-die-alone phase going on. We felt like this was the worst that could happen in our lives. But were we right about that? Had we really seen the true meaning of life? We were only beginning the disputing phases of our lives. After few happy days, someone would hurt us or break our hearts and the cycle of crying and disgracefulness continues. That wasn't ever the solution.

But that's not it. There is a phase when nothing mattered to us more than our own Career. Selfishness had possessed our souls. We say that my dream is to be a doctor, to be an engineer, to be an Architect, to be a businessman, to be a world famous president for crying out loud. Those dreams were only created. But for those dreams, We fought with everyone who came in the way of our career. Mainly, We fought with our parents. The parents who did everything to make sure we didn't get hurt while taking our first footsteps. The parents who made sure we went to school to get properly educated and were proud of us even when we neglected them. The parents we never understood which phase they were going through when we were busy making friends and more. The parents who did everything to fulfill our small desires by saving our college funds, buying us expensive clothes, shoes, cell phones, iPods/iPads, laptops and every single electronic gadget we wished off. Due to all those phases mentioned above, some of them fall into the worse of immature activities like drugs, smoking, alcohol, illegal fornication, cutting themselves, betrayal, cheating, lying, rebellious nature etc. This was due to bad influence of the company they hung out with. In the end we had no one except our families to take care of us. We realized we made mistakes and started taking care of our family. We also asked for their help, took their advices. Family was always there for us. Friends, education, materialism comes and goes, But parents are only one and won't ever go, until it's too late. 

Our parents worked so hard to make sure we went to a good school, ate proper food, had good etiquette behavior with ourselves, our friends, relatives and with them. They made sure we earned a good status in life, got us grandly and happily married but expecting the least from us. Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Amr: A man said to the Prophet, "Shall I participate in Jihad?" The Prophet said, "Are your parents living?" The man said, "Yes." the Prophet said, "Do Jihad for their benefit." 
"Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: ‘My Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood' "(17:23-24).

Parents are a big and the most living blessing from Allah subhanAllah wa Ta'Allah. But little do we give thanks to them or Allah. All their lives they have been preparing themselves to take care of us. They sacrificed their own happiness for us. It is narrated by Abu Huraira: A man came to Allah's Apostle and said, "O Allah's Apostle! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man said. "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man further said, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man asked for the fourth time, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your father.


Being undutiful to parents is one of the Major sins and Allah subhanAllah wa Ta'Allah has forbidden us to disobey them! Would you want your children to disobey and disrespect you? It's not too late for most of us. Some of us have lost their parents. But Allah is The Most Merciful and The Most Forgiving. We can always ask for repentance and we can make Allah happy by being dutiful to our parents. We still have got a second chance to make ourselves and our lives right. There is no relation important than the blood relation. Family comes first. So we should all be entitled to keep our priorities right.

 

Narrated 'Aisha: (the wife of the Prophet) The Prophet said, "The word 'Ar-Rahm' (womb) derives its name from 'Ar-Rahman' (i.e. Allah). So whosoever keeps good relations with it (womb i.e. Kith and kin), Allah will keep good relations with him, and whosoever will sever it (i.e. severs his bonds of Kith and kin) Allah too will sever His relations with him.

Abdullah ibn Amr related that the Messenger of Allah said: The major sins are to believe that Allah has partners, to disobey one's parents, to commit murder, and to bear false witness (Bukhari, Muslim).

How often do we thank our families? Do you think we need to? Do you think they know it? or Do you feel it's not necessary? Take the chance of your life and start fulfilling what they deserve from you. Let our ego's fall down in front of our priorities. Be the first one to apologize, be the first to say Thank you. Ego is only a shaitaani thing in this world. By changing ourselves for the better, we can learn to sacrifice and have patience for the things that are only worldly and not permanent. InshAllah we will all be better persons and good daughters/sons in the right path of Islam. I hope I send a good message out there and people will be willing to take right actions on this. inshAllah

JazakAllah for reading. 
All the hadiths mentioned in bold font are completely authentic and are from Sahih Muslim and Sahih Bukhari. Please feel free to send me the link of your blogs and comment below if you have similar views. 

- Invisible Identity

Friendship

Okay, Now we all have been through those times when we know that friendship never comes with a guarantee of a lifetime. Although, there are possibilities that some friendships do last longer than what we had imagined. Most of our closest friends are from high school, some of them are from our college or some of them are those whom we have worked with. Whom do you think would last longer in your life?

Well my life haven't been the best when it came to friendship. I was the psychiatrist one in my friend circle. And few of them were followers, the rest were out of the league. How did we manage to be the psychiatrist type? My life wasn't as normal as my friend's. I faced a lot of hardships and that's how I knew what is needed to be done when it has to be done. At least that's what I thought I knew that time. I never pressurized myself to feel this way. My friends made me realize that, that's how I am to them. I was the Stylish one, had normal friends, who, at the beginning never thought good of me. Of course, because the Stylish ones never had the good reputation. The proverb of my life was, "Never to judge anyone without knowing them" and "Always assure what you have heard, rather than jumping to conclusions just because you heard it from someone else's mouth". 

When I was in the last year of my junior high, I met new friends. And they came to know me much better. And they all went like, " Oh My God, you are so awesome. We heard such crazy things about you". And that's when I repeated my proverb to them. 

In every aspect of our lives, falls a little burden of patience on us. Not all of us has been at our best behavior when it comes to patience. Our human minds and body is always in some kind of rush. Ready to capture some kind of mysterious air that has all kinds of happiness, success and magic in it. My life was quite like that. I always did something good, only to prove others that I am good enough. One day I stopped trying, because negative minds had only created even more negativity in my mind. I had lost my Self-confidence. I forgot how to express my talents. I even forgot how it was to feel pretty or even smile. Just because of them! I was a stylish girl who walked up-headed without even caring who thought what of me! Most of them failed to understand me. Later I failed to understand them. 

I put my Trust in Allah, hoping some day I will get back what I lost because of those negative and envy heads. And Alhumdulillah, as patience resulted it's brightest stars, I got it back but that left some painful negativity in myself which is still there. And It taught me one lesson in life. In every stage/phase of your life, comes a paper which is the test of patience. And this was just the first stage in my life. the next stage landed when my friendship had a dormancy period.

My best friend is Mystified Angel. (That's what she called herself). I know her since the last year of junior school. She was the one who never ever judged me, never misunderstood me. Always tried to keep me holding up when I had no one to talk to or share with. That was the kind of person I was going to be away from for the rest of my college life. Why? because she had to go to India to study in college. She is going to be an Architect inshAllah! :) Till that day until now, We still are best friends. We do keep in touch! And I know that I am favored a great guarantee in life with a permanent friendship from her. inshAllah. Well it's only been 5 years, since my best friend and I are together. But inshAllah, our friendship may last longer.

There were so many days, that I was in trauma and I faced really hard times alone. And those days I found some really amazing friends. The ones who encouraged me, helped me, guided me on the right path of Islam and made my faith even more stronger. They were there with me when I was so alone and confused about my decisions in life. And those friends weren't from my high school, they are my seniors. We never felt the age difference because I have a brain of a 30 year old. 

What more do you want than a friend who is leading you onto the straight path of Islam? I wouldn't ask for more. I do the same now. Alhumdulillah! At least I try to. InshAllah, there are a lot of ways that I have to keep up the pace of my patience level in the matter of friendship. Whatever Allah gives, gives us the best! All we should do is wait and wait until the right thing falls on your lap and we will all know this is what we have waited for and that, it's WORTH it! 

Surah Al- Asr-

1. By Al-'Asr (the time).

2. Verily! Man is in loss,

3. Except those who believe (in Islamic Monotheism) and do righteous good deeds, and recommend one another to the truth (i.e. order one another to perform all kinds of good deeds (Al-Ma'ruf)which Allah has ordained, and abstain from all kinds of sins and evil deeds (Al-Munkar)which Allah has forbidden), and recommend one another to patience (for the sufferings, harms, and injuries which one may encounter in Allah's Cause during preaching His religion of Islamic Monotheism or Jihad, etc.).

Thanks for reading. Please feel free to share the link on a similar story as this. I'll be more than happy to comment.

- Invisible Identity.