Thursday, May 23, 2013

LONELY DAYS, NO FRIENDS OR ANYONE WHO CAN UNDERSTAND...

This is what I feel at least once in a month or maybe even more sometimes. This is not a self pity post. This is just to show you what I do when I've lost hope from myself and I feel really down and worthless.  If you do feel like me sometimes, then please bare with me and read... :)
The reason why I feel one of these emotions is when I feel I'm not doing something right in my life or maybe when I feel that no one cares about me. And also because I'm different than most of my peeps around me. Sometimes I don't even know why I'm feeling worthless and extremely unhappy.  Most of the times I feel like this is maybe because I am a very sensitive person from the inside who shows to be really strong from the outside. This show act is really the most difficult part. But that's my personality. I don't like to look or be perceived as weak.
I am not an expert to advice you what to do here since I myself am a victim. But let me tell you something what really helps me and makes me feel a lot better.
                      

Realization: This is the key of the entire root cause. To realize what wrong have you done that you had to face this. Why do I feel this way? Did I upset my Rabb? Did I hurt somebody?  Did I not focus in my prayers today? Did I do proper dhikr today? Did I do my chores and help somebody today or not? Did I feel or speak something bad about a person? Did I complain today? Did I thank Allah?  Have I disappointed someone?
And right after I've answered all of my doubts and spoken to myself, I seek forgiveness from Allah subhaanAllah wa ta'Allah. AstagfiraAllah!
Because yes! I have upset my Rabb, yes I have hurt somebody unintentionally. I did think bad about someone in my heart and even spoken bad about someone. I didn't focus in my prayers like I should have. I didn't help someone today. I kept complaining about silly things when someone else is deprived of that blessing. I didn't thank Allah. And I feel like I deserve all of this.... All the unhappiness and the unease..
The thing is in the end only you can understand yourself more than your friends or family. But your Rabb, Allah understands you the best. SubhaanAllah! We all need to wake our souls to perceive this. So speak to yourself and REALIZE with your true heart. Don't be the one who says, "I haven't done anything. Everyone hurt me. I don't deserve this. Why is this happening to me. Why me?  Why not her?" Please don't say that. Just be patient and figure it out. Even if you were 100% innocent of being unhappy,  remember with every hardship comes ease and this is just a test. So be patient without complaining. I know it's hard. But this is what it is.
Dhikr e ilaahi: Do morning and evening dhikr. If u already do, then increase it with masnoon Quranic duwas. Increase your duration and the rakat of your prayer.. Add nafeel prayers.  Pray tahajjud, fast or even read Qur'an. Sometimes it takes more ibaadat to really feel that connection with your Rabb.
Believe me once you do that, you'll be happy with yourself that at least you're doing something to please your Rabb. Indeed Allah didn't create mankind and jinn except but to worship Him. No wonder that's the only way to real peace and self contentment.  


             
Lower your expectations: Do not expect anything and I repeat,  anything from ANYBODY. (Sorry for the cap locks but that needed to be emphasized) The lesser you expect from people the lesser they'll hurt you. People can't make themselves happy and we expect happiness from them?  What an irony! Trust Allah and expect from Him. He is Ar Raziq. The Provider.
This is all that I do. And if it bother me a lot I speak to one of my close friends.  And letting it out do feels good but that's not the first step you should do.
I hope this helps somebody. May Allah guide us all and forgive all our sins. AMEEN
I pray that Allah cures your heart and make you a better human and a better Muslim. Ameen

JazakumuAllah hu khairan for reading this. Don't forget to rate, share and leave a comment.

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1 comment:

  1. salaamualaikum, ukhti Ameen to the dua. Masha Allah i can also relate to it

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