Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi wabarakaatuhu!
I want to start this post by posing a question to my readers. What do you like or prefer for yourself the most?
Something that is good for you or of your best interest or something that is not best for you or your best interest?
We all would obviously answer, given the choice between something that is good or bad, we'd choose something best for us! We want every good possible thing for us starting from best education, the best clothes to the best shoes. We want to have the best people around us, the best family, the best parents, the best husband, the best wife, the best children and the best of friends; something that suits us and something that is best for us and not necessarily best in the eyes of others.
But what happens when it comes to choosing best things for others? Why can't we open our hearts wide enough to give those exact best things for others??
Why do we always have to compete to have the best education, the best career, the best spouses, the best house, the best children and the best friends? We compete, especially, in order to be the best among others. Don't get me wrong, Yes, we are allowed to have best things as Allah made certain halal ways for us to acquire and seek advantage from and yes we are eligible to have all the best things. But the place where we start reducing is the HAQQ of others by not giving them the exact same thing that you would want for yourself. This is where jealousy and envy begins and the evolution of hatred and Indian drama serial begins.
If majority of us started giving others what we would expect others to give us, so many relationship problems would be diminished.
Let me give you an example. If you wish to buy yourself a good and decent dress then give that exact thing to the poor. Don't give torn off and bad clothes. If you wish others to speak good behind your backs then you should refrain from speaking bad behind their backs. If you wish your own brother to help you at times of need, then even you should help your brother at times of need. If you wish your daughter to have a good husband and good in-laws, then even you should treat your daughter in-law like how you would want your daughter to be treated by her in-laws. And if you wish your husband to treat your parents right then even you should treat his parents right and vice versa. And if you wish your parents to provide you with every goodness in this world then provide the same thing for them and for your own children. Do you get the point? Love for your brother what you love for yourself?
On the authority of Abu Hamzah Anas bin Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) - the servant of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) - that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said : "None of you will believe until you love for your brother what you love for yourself." Related by Bukhari & Muslim
We all need to be the first ones to GIVE people their right, give them more than they deserve, even if you hate it. Others aren't going to understand you or your situation. You will only keep increasing aversion in your heart and it will kill you inside. Let it go. They will keep treating you horribly even if you do them good because in the end it is Allah who is seeing you and your actions and it is Allah whom you have to please and not the people. And most of all HE is watching over our Hearts. Innallaha A'leemum bizaatis sudoor! Indeed Allah is Always All Knowing of what is in your chests. So let us all clean our hearts from the hatred, jealousy, suppositions, arrogance that we have against others and have Haya from Allah before thinking negatively about others.
Jazakumullahu khairan for reading. Do share, rate, comment and follow my blog for more posts.
I want to start this post by posing a question to my readers. What do you like or prefer for yourself the most?
Something that is good for you or of your best interest or something that is not best for you or your best interest?
We all would obviously answer, given the choice between something that is good or bad, we'd choose something best for us! We want every good possible thing for us starting from best education, the best clothes to the best shoes. We want to have the best people around us, the best family, the best parents, the best husband, the best wife, the best children and the best of friends; something that suits us and something that is best for us and not necessarily best in the eyes of others.
But what happens when it comes to choosing best things for others? Why can't we open our hearts wide enough to give those exact best things for others??
Why do we always have to compete to have the best education, the best career, the best spouses, the best house, the best children and the best friends? We compete, especially, in order to be the best among others. Don't get me wrong, Yes, we are allowed to have best things as Allah made certain halal ways for us to acquire and seek advantage from and yes we are eligible to have all the best things. But the place where we start reducing is the HAQQ of others by not giving them the exact same thing that you would want for yourself. This is where jealousy and envy begins and the evolution of hatred and Indian drama serial begins.
If majority of us started giving others what we would expect others to give us, so many relationship problems would be diminished.
Let me give you an example. If you wish to buy yourself a good and decent dress then give that exact thing to the poor. Don't give torn off and bad clothes. If you wish others to speak good behind your backs then you should refrain from speaking bad behind their backs. If you wish your own brother to help you at times of need, then even you should help your brother at times of need. If you wish your daughter to have a good husband and good in-laws, then even you should treat your daughter in-law like how you would want your daughter to be treated by her in-laws. And if you wish your husband to treat your parents right then even you should treat his parents right and vice versa. And if you wish your parents to provide you with every goodness in this world then provide the same thing for them and for your own children. Do you get the point? Love for your brother what you love for yourself?
On the authority of Abu Hamzah Anas bin Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) - the servant of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) - that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said : "None of you will believe until you love for your brother what you love for yourself." Related by Bukhari & Muslim
Living in this world, we always want others to be the best to us but we don't want to be the best with others. We want others to treat us well while we don't want to put least efforts into treating others right. We always want others to help us but we don't want to help them. We always want to be dealt with respect but we don't give the exact respect in return to others. We are deeply and insanely selfish if we really think about it. And then we ask Allah why are we mistreated by people!! AstagfirAllah!! Allah has also forbidden us to demand of something what we do not deserve. So if we don't give others respect how could we ask others to respect us? It sounds a little arrogant don't you think?
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Narrated Al-Mughira: The Prophet said, "Allah has forbidden you ( 1 ) to be undutiful to your mothers (2) to withhold (what you should give) or (3) demand (what you do not deserve), and (4) to bury your daughters alive. And Allah has disliked that (A) you talk too much about others ( B), ask too many questions (in religion), or (C) waste your property." Volume 8, Book 73, Number 6
Narrated Al-Mughira: The Prophet said, "Allah has forbidden you ( 1 ) to be undutiful to your mothers (2) to withhold (what you should give) or (3) demand (what you do not deserve), and (4) to bury your daughters alive. And Allah has disliked that (A) you talk too much about others ( B), ask too many questions (in religion), or (C) waste your property." Volume 8, Book 73, Number 6
We all need to be the first ones to GIVE people their right, give them more than they deserve, even if you hate it. Others aren't going to understand you or your situation. You will only keep increasing aversion in your heart and it will kill you inside. Let it go. They will keep treating you horribly even if you do them good because in the end it is Allah who is seeing you and your actions and it is Allah whom you have to please and not the people. And most of all HE is watching over our Hearts. Innallaha A'leemum bizaatis sudoor! Indeed Allah is Always All Knowing of what is in your chests. So let us all clean our hearts from the hatred, jealousy, suppositions, arrogance that we have against others and have Haya from Allah before thinking negatively about others.
Jazakumullahu khairan for reading. Do share, rate, comment and follow my blog for more posts.
Ask me anything regarding this topic here.
Thank you for reading.
Please feel free to send me the link of your blogs and comment below if you have similar views.
- Manal Mirza
Please feel free to send me the link of your blogs and comment below if you have similar views.
- Manal Mirza
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